I've been sitting in front of this computer for the past 2 hours, redesigning this blog until the words I was looking for began to formulate in my mind. I'm hungry and tired with dozens of things to do, but I need to write. Only by doing so can I put this dangling concern to sleep. So I'll start.
I spent the last week of December thinking about what my New Years resolutions were going to be. I read blog posts, read old journals, and reflected on the past year. New Years Eve came, along with some of the most memorable moments with my family. But as I walked into 2014, no new years resolutions came to mind.
The first week of the year I spent at a retreat. The retreat came and went by, blessed by many friends and fun moments. But still no resolutions.
School started, along with shifting schedules, event planning, and musical auditions. But still no resolutions.
And here I am. 1/12 done. February 2nd, 2014...with no New Year resolutions, but instead, a
long to-do list of projects, assignments, papers, and more. And yet, all I have been able to do is sit in front of this page- wondering about life.
Two and a half months from now I'll turn legal. Four months from now I'll be walking down the school auditorium with a graduation robe. Five months from now I'll be saying goodbye to my dear friends and moving across the ocean. Six months from now I'll be immerging into a different culture. Seven months from now I'll have started college - wherever that may be.
And I still have an ache within me because I don't want to walk out of February 2nd without a resolution. I don't want to walk out of my "minor" years without a resolution. I don't want to walk out of senior year or my home or my country without a resolution.
But what IS my resolution?
..
...
....
And just as these heavy words fly through my fingers and on to the keys, I'm looking up at my wall where hangs a picture of a beach. I'm smiling right now, because never has this picture been so breathtaking. On the sand of this beach lay words I will forever have written on my heart:
"Love."
And in matter of seconds, dear reader, in between these black, bold, cursive letters, I have found my answer. I cannot define my year by events, no matter how important they may be. I cannot define my friendships by time, my days by tasks, or my value by things.
The only valid measurement of life is love.
Because love goes beyond the daily things. It's so powerful it can break through any wall of hurt or angst, so tender it mends any broken heart, so delightful it causes laughter, so thoughtful it warms hearts.
Love. Of course! That is the answer.That is my resolution. To love. Because it is only because of love that I am here, right now, typing out these words. Only because I have been loved first can I love now.
So, without further a do, my 2014 life resolution:
I commit to love. I commit to learn to love in new ways, and love through the tough times. I commit to reflect and speak love, though most of the time I will mess up. I commit to seek love and be love, even when I fail or have been failed. I commit to share love, and breathe love..
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I spent the last week of December thinking about what my New Years resolutions were going to be. I read blog posts, read old journals, and reflected on the past year. New Years Eve came, along with some of the most memorable moments with my family. But as I walked into 2014, no new years resolutions came to mind.
The first week of the year I spent at a retreat. The retreat came and went by, blessed by many friends and fun moments. But still no resolutions.
School started, along with shifting schedules, event planning, and musical auditions. But still no resolutions.
And here I am. 1/12 done. February 2nd, 2014...with no New Year resolutions, but instead, a
long to-do list of projects, assignments, papers, and more. And yet, all I have been able to do is sit in front of this page- wondering about life.
Two and a half months from now I'll turn legal. Four months from now I'll be walking down the school auditorium with a graduation robe. Five months from now I'll be saying goodbye to my dear friends and moving across the ocean. Six months from now I'll be immerging into a different culture. Seven months from now I'll have started college - wherever that may be.
And I still have an ache within me because I don't want to walk out of February 2nd without a resolution. I don't want to walk out of my "minor" years without a resolution. I don't want to walk out of senior year or my home or my country without a resolution.
But what IS my resolution?
..
...
....
And just as these heavy words fly through my fingers and on to the keys, I'm looking up at my wall where hangs a picture of a beach. I'm smiling right now, because never has this picture been so breathtaking. On the sand of this beach lay words I will forever have written on my heart:
"Love."
And in matter of seconds, dear reader, in between these black, bold, cursive letters, I have found my answer. I cannot define my year by events, no matter how important they may be. I cannot define my friendships by time, my days by tasks, or my value by things.
The only valid measurement of life is love.
Because love goes beyond the daily things. It's so powerful it can break through any wall of hurt or angst, so tender it mends any broken heart, so delightful it causes laughter, so thoughtful it warms hearts.
Love. Of course! That is the answer.That is my resolution. To love. Because it is only because of love that I am here, right now, typing out these words. Only because I have been loved first can I love now.
So, without further a do, my 2014 life resolution:
I commit to love. I commit to learn to love in new ways, and love through the tough times. I commit to reflect and speak love, though most of the time I will mess up. I commit to seek love and be love, even when I fail or have been failed. I commit to share love, and breathe love..
Because only through love can I live.
