Honestly, I did not want to open this page. I had said to myself no more writing. I first needed to live, see, experience. I needed to find myself, and the answers to my unending questions. I needed to have something worth writing about. But here I am, several months later, several months grown. Excuse my silence, it was much needed. I still do not want to continue with this post...But I have this voice in my heart
But this little voice has been haunting me for a while now... So here I am, typing, in front of an open view to a delightful summer evening rain. I smell the damp concrete and can see the little raindrops melt like sugar drops on the window sill. I am a bit tired, since just half an hour ago I tried to take my siesta...but all I kept hearing was "Sarah, WRITE." So here I am, writing. First I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. I do warn you this blog is about a seventeen-year-old girl's thoughts, so please take that into consideration before critiquing:) Teens can be a bit dramatic. Or not. But as I was saying, I really do appreciate it. It does me good to read messages about how my posts have brought encouragement to some and entertainment to others, but please hear me when I say, this is not my work here..
If you know me well, you've probably seen me many times almost in a sort of daze. As if I were staring at something. Maybe even at you. I do that a lot. I might, in the middle of a group conversation, absently stand next to you and stare at whoever you are talking to. If my sister is part of the conversation, she graciously snaps me out of it with her widening of eyes and clenching of teeth. ( Thank you Amanda, you've saved me several times from public embarrassment.)
Exactly why I do such a "strange" thing I do not know, but I think it is because my mind is wired to automatically float up to the clouds. And when I stare at someone, it is because I am wondering. I wonder what the person's life at home is like, whether they like the color blue or green, if they are having an ok day, if what they are saying is truly from the heart or empty words from the brain. (did that rhyme only in my head?) But just like I may wonder about you, I wonder about other things. I wonder about the trees. I love watching them dance. From one sway to the next, it seems like they are dancing to a silent rhythm. Or the clouds. They inhale, grow, exhale, separate. Or the thunder outside my window. Which cloud is making that noise? All of them? Two? Is it because they crashed into each other? Or because they are separating? (If you know the answer to this, please brush off the writers' ignorance on the life of clouds)
But my point is... I think it is a beautiful thing to wonder. To wonder about the pure, the noble, the lovely. The most beautiful people I have met are those filled with the innocence of bewilderment. Those who get excited about the little things, those who find joy in the simple. I love watching people, not because of creepiness, but because I marvel at how as serious as one can be, their eyes can smile. Or how as quiet as a person is, a simple act of service can say more about them than their words. It is a beautiful thing to wonder, and it is a beautiful thing to discover. To discover your loves, your Creator, the worlds' beauties, the worlds' stories. Which is why I will not leave this blog permanently abandoned. Though no one may read it, I have a voice inside me saying I must write about what I wonder, what I learn, and what I discover.
Hence the meaning of Sophrosyne. Prudence, temperance. Only in stead mindedness can we wholeheartedly listen, and wholeheartedly discover.
Let us be careful of how we spend our days, and take a bit of time, sit quietly, listen, and learn. I will continue to follow this calling to write, but what I would like you to do after this is shut down your computer screen or put down your phone. Shut it and look out the nearest window. Is it raining? Is it night? Do you see the neighbor's laundry? (if so please look away, undergarments are not a good view) But whatever (else) is out your window, sit and stare at it for a while. Wonder. Discover the little truths lying in the tree trunks, in the laughter of your grandparents, in the notes of your favorite song. Learn from the words of your mother, or the goodbye tears of a friend. Look up to the sky and marvel at the creation. Take the little things in life and treasure them, treasure them and learn from them.
( Next time you see me, let me know if you discovered anything (: )
"It is a beautiful thing to wonder, to learn in the quiet and to ultimately discover the truth."
